“I see you took the old truck to work today.”

“Getting up in the years, doesn’t always make it.”

“Happens to all of us as we get older; you just never know which parts are going to break down today.
So, do you just call the boss-man to come get you when old blue is acting up?”

“Who, Harold?  The truck could break down in the middle of a blizzard, and I could still walk to work before he gets there.”

“Nah, Harold? I don’t believe it. He’s been here forever, an institution.  Almost as regular as my morning coffee.”

“Not any more.  He keeps coming in later and later, if he even comes in at all.  The other day he walks in the door two hours late and says,”
‘What time do you all open?’

“What’s new with him these days?”

“Nothing is new with him, everything is old.  He’s getting up there in the years, itchin’ for retirement. He’s getting that fuck-it-all attitude.”

“That’s what happens when you get older and start taking them little blue pills.  I see old guys popping them things like Skittles.”

“I told him to be careful with them pills too.  It doesn’t take much to overdo it and you’re liable to overdose.”

“Gives a whole new meaning to ‘pushing up daisies’.”pushingupdaisies

“Speaking of which, I better go get these groceries over to my mom.”

“Oh, how is the old bird doing these days? Loving retirement?”

“She was pretty bored.  But come to think of it, she has been a lot perkier ever since Harold started coming around.”


This conversation was not Sponsored By Viagra.

The characters in this story were not paid actors. Like all of life’s funniest moments, Verbatim is based on a very real conversation I witnessed. (With maybe a touch of exaggeration; it’s an artists prerogative.) You just can’t make this stuff up folks.

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