Fun With Words

Corporate Courtesy:  the courtesy that corporations bestow upon their employees, other individuals, and small businesses.  Corporate courtesy is an oxymoron used by a group of morons operating as a single moron.

Contrary to the nature of incorporated businesses, corporate courtesy is typically extended without the requirement of payment.  In fact, the typical usage of corporate courtesy completely disregards customer service, accountability, and integrity as a potential source of increased profits.

Unlike its root word, corporate courtesy is actually a lack of manners or respect bestowed upon the receiver in the course of business.

This is natural and to be expected though. Since, unlike the supreme court rulings in Citizens United and similar cases, corporations are not individuals or human beings; therefore lack the necessary emotions or conscience to extend regular courtesy.

Some examples of corporate courtesy include, but are by no means limited to the following:

  1. Requiring all pertinent personnel to stop what they are doing or planning for an emergency meeting to discuss the corporation’s failings.  Then, at the last-minute, cancelling said conference because one of the heads will be on vacation or golfing; without regard to the people who just rearranged their schedule for this impromptu meeting.  These are generally not isolated events and you should expect further cancellations.  It’s also relevant to note that when the meeting does finally take place, it will start 15 minutes late and absolutely no resolution will take place.

2. Notifying 55 families that they will be losing their jobs, two days before they reach a milestone safety record and a possible bonus for their hard work.  This is often portrayed as benefiting the economy, since the employees now have more time to go shopping for things they can no longer afford.  Plus, the corporation now has more money saved, should they ever want to test the trickledown economics theory.

There are many examples of corporate courtesy; like installing automated voice prompt systems to handle your business needs, government lobbying, and market manipulation for the propose of achieving standardized pricing.  While corporate courtesy is typically presented as being a service to the individuals and small businesses involved, the results rarely prove beneficial.

I would like to thank Kroger and BNSF, for providing such excellent examples for today’s edition of Fun With Words.

Please feel free to share your experiences with corporate courtesy in the comments below.

** Congratulations guys on your three years’ injury free today!  You deserved a bigger bonus than a severance package and a spike to your heart, for your twelve years of hard work! **

For more fun, check out today’s an addendum to Fun With Words at The Nail in the Coffin

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