Life Ha*ick*ups

I still remember the very moment I found out, the feeling still alive inside me today. “You can cure the hiccups?! For Real?!”

He could, and he did.

All those years of balancing on my head, terrible pranks to scare them away, holding my breath til I passed out….. you name it and I tried it. My mainstay was bitters and lemon for occasional, temporary relief; but they always came back. Mostly, I just made my peace with the fact that hiccups won’t go away until they are darn good and ready, and you aren’t paying attention.

But wouldn’t you know it, just like that, my hiccups were gone.

It’s simple really, just a minute of vulnerability, and you too can cure your hiccups. I took my new knowledge with me and shocked as many people as I could with the truth. As a bartender, the demand was never in short supply. “I can fix that for you,” I would say with a wink and a smile.

“Yah right! It’s all phoney baloney,” they would say, or something to that effect. Mostly it just sounded like, “Shoe don’t know nothing; I’m just fine I have a doctor’s papointment twomommamarrow, and she’ll flix everything. *hiccup* Now get me a nutter.”

The few brave souls willing to trust me were so taken back, I rarely saw them inside the bars again. I ran into one guy at the store; seems I changed his life. He now believes in miracles and goes to church. Of course not everyone quit drinking due to their newfound enlightenment. Some just used it as an excuse to drink more; knowing my soft, sweet hands were just a bar stool away.

I am not greedy, I do not need to hold all the power in my own hands. Today I am going to share with you the Instant Cure For The Common Hiccups. Warning, this is not a trick, this is very real. But you have to believe it; because  if you believe it, it’s true. If you fight the possibility, your body will reject the cure and your hiccups could win out. (the Nocebo Effect)

* Drum roll *

Get a large glass of water. Have someone stand behind you, cover your ears tightly creating an air lock. The back of their palms should be facing towards your face while the fingers wrap around the head. This is the best position, since the palms cup nicely over the ears. It doesn’t have to be tight, just a firm air lock. While they hold the pressure, simply drink the water. By the time you are done with the glass of water, your hiccups will be gone.

Sometimes just water alone will work, but the ear cupping seems to guarantee satisfactory results. Be sure that you are not drinking out of a water bottle that could be pushing air in or causing suction differentials. Just a simple glass of water and a friends help.

You can do it without a friend too. If you can rest one ear against your shoulder and hold the water with that hand, you can cover your other ear with your free hand. It takes a little vulnerability to let someone stand behind you and your pride might reject the notion as silly; but I kid you not, the cure is out there if you just believe.

If anyone gives this a try, be sure to come back and share your shock and awe and testify to the world that there is in fact a cure for the hiccups. Also, I don’t know why this works. If you are a doctor or an experienced WebMD Googler, please feel free to share the complexities of the diaphragm and air distribution dynamics with us. Just know that this post is not called Life Hoax, it’s a bona fide Life Hack.

Don’t believe the Myths! The Hiccups have an Achilles Heal; water and ear pressure!

For more tried and true Life Hacks, check out Lazy Parenting Tip #69. All Life Hacks have been personally verified and recommended by Daodeqi; use responsibly.


6 thoughts on “Life Ha*ick*ups

  1. I remember the first time you showed this to me, love. I have been trying to spread the word too!
    Love you, See you when you get home.

    Liked by 1 person

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