I Don’t Believe A Word You Say!

Not today, anyways.

It is hard to even get myself to read anyone’s blog posts today.  I peruse through them all hoping to find ones that might not end in April Fool’s.  But almost every time, “Gotcha’, April Fools”.  Ha Ha Ha.

It’s not that I don’t like a good joke; you’re just not that funny.  And since when did terrible lies become funny?

At home, we call St. Patrick’s Day “Amateur Night”, when the inexperienced drinkers go out and party like teenagers.  They make all the rookie mistakes like mixing the wrong liquors, throwing up on their boss, stripping for their cousin, etc.  The list goes on, I just can’t remember all the things I did due to the blackouts.

April Fool’s is like a St. Patrick’s Day hangover; Amateur Night for wannabe comedians.  Except they are rarely funny.  Tired, fake spider jokes, putting something gross in your food, and of course, the little pink lines prank.  If I had a penny for every time someone posted they were pregnant today, I could buy enough alcohol to forget this holiday.

Most of us are already groaning about all the “Guess Who’s Expecting?” posts we are going to have to endure.  We don’t believe a single one; until, we do.

Here is where St. Patrick solidifies his bond with April.

You see, the moment we see their pearly whites, the facial recobognition software in our brains flashes back to all the encounters we have experienced with that person.  In the forefront of our most recent memories is St. Patrick’s Day.

This is where we introduce doubt; too much liquor, questionable choices, and condoms we have been holding in our wallets since we were 13. Couple those memories with the possibility of a drunken blackout and the convenient time-lapse between March 17th & April 1st; you have just given birth to the April Fool’s Baby.

Every April Fool’s prankster thinks they’re a comedian; but really, they are mostly just liars.

Come to think of it, maybe they are not trying to be funny. There are no rubber chickens or knock-knock jokes on April Fool’s Day.  Maybe, they are just trying to be Lawyers; prove their worth in the criminal justice system.

Beautiful, just a little change in perspective is all it takes sometimes to turn a frown upside down.

Practice away, my little fool; go from drinking at the bar to passing the bar. Then, when you force me to read your incredibly annoying posts about you (or your family) having a bun in the oven, I will know that you have enough money to sue for mental anguish.

“Your honor, they invited me over for dinner, but it turns out they were just pulling my leg about having a bun in the oven.  That is why I have to wear this cast now.”

Or at the very least, you can go into family law and help reduce my child support obligation from last year’s April Fool’s joke. We named him Jameson, in honor of his conception.

Happy April Fool’s Day Everyone and for those of us still celebrating, Happy St. Patrick’s Day too!

A shout out to all the bloggers putting out quality posts today
Thank You for not making me cringe with regret! Please check out these wonderful sites sharing April 1st posts worth the read:

Smell The Coffee              Designer Sophisticate            Afterwards

Untangled                         Espiritu En Fuego                   Elaboration etcetera


Related Posts on Free The Truth:

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